Boom
by peppermintshoes
Summary: Matsumoto, sake and swords are not a good combination. Especially when Ikkaku and Renji are involved.


Written, as are most of my HitsuMatsu fics, for silentbunny who this time was certain that she would one day accidentally blow up the library (or possibly the entire campus). Which of course got me thinking... if anyone could accidentally blow something up, surely it would be Matsumoto. Thus, this fic was born XD

Title: Boom! (I am very unoriginal when naming these...)  
Rating: G? The word "hell" is in there but that's a place, so...  
Pairing: well, its not very pairing-y but it DOES star Hitsugaya and Matsumoto, so I'm gonna say HitsuMatsu. (There's a moment or two in there if you squint)  
Summary: bla bla bla JUST GO READ IT

**Boom**

Hitsugaya sighed contently from the warm cocoon of blankets wrapped around him. The couch was more comfortable than he had imagined, although it did explain why his loyal yet work-ethically-challenged Vice-captain spent such a large proportion of her time napping there. Hours before, he had intended for his stay on the couch to be brief - just long enough to rest for a moment before returning to his own quarters - however the longer he had remained there, the less he had wanted to leave. An hour or so previously he had finally given in and pulled Matsumoto's favourite pink blanket from underneath the couch and wrapped it around himself. As his mind slowly drifted into unconsciousness, he vaguely reminded his own body clock to wake him before anyone arrived for work in the morning. After all, it wouldn't do to get caught napping on the-

CRASH

Hitsugaya jumped at the loud noise and sprang immediately to his feet, his hand on the hilt of Hyourinmaru, ready for an attack.

"Huh?"

It was not the most coherent sentence he had ever uttered, however his confusion at the sight before him was warranted. His "attacker" was neither unfamiliar nor an enemy, although she was wielding a zanpakutou which she brandished around in a decidedly unthreatening way. If anything, she looked as though she was more a danger to herself than to anyone else.

Hitsugaya shook his head to clear out the last vestiges of sleep-induced fog that had invaded his brain, then turned his attention to the intruder.

"Matsumoto, _what _are you doing?" he asked incredulously. Whilst the appearance of his drunken Vice-captain was not surprising, the fact that she was wielding Haineko made him slightly nervous. Quite nervous, actually. Okay, so he was terrified.

Matsumoto grinned cheekily. "I have something to show you, Taichou!" she chirruped.

Something to show him? Whatever it was, this couldn't end well.

"Matsumoto, whatever it is, _no_"

"But Taichou its _important_."

Hitsugaya sighed and Matsumoto took his silence as permission to go ahead.

"Well, Taichou, I was out drinking with Renji and Kyouraku-"

Matsumoto, drinking? How surprising.

"- when Ikkaku and came up and he and Renji started boasting about their Bankai and arguing about whose was better."

Trust Ikkaku and Renji to get themselves into a testosterone driven bar fight.

"Naturally, I had to put my opinion in too-"

_Naturally. _ Heaven forbid Matsumoto should ever actually shut her mouth for once.

"- which was of course that _my _ Bankai was the most powerful, if not the biggest too."

Hitsugaya was surprised. He knew that Matsumoto had achieved Bankai - several weeks after he had found out Yamamoto approached him with the proposal of making her a Captain when she was stronger - however he was unaware that she was ready to share that knowledge. As far as he knew, she had yet to inform _anyone_ of her achievement.

"Now, they didn't believe me when I said I had achieved Bankai, so I thought I'd show them-"

Hitsugaya did not like where this was heading.

"- but then I thought it would be unfair if they got to see it before you did, Taichou-"

How kind of her...

"- so we decided to come over here so I could show you all together."

It was only at this point that Hitsugaya noticed Ikkaku and Renji skulking in the shadows behind Matsumoto

Ikkaku, Renji, Matsumoto and a Bankai debate?

No, there was no way in hell this could end well.

Hang on, did she say-

"Ban-"

"MATSUMOTO, _NO!_"

"-kai"

BOOM

As large chunks of wood, brickwork and other debris bounced off the shield of reiatsu he had thrown around the four of them, Hitsugaya turned, too furious for words, towards his soon-to-be ex-vice-captain and her compatriots. Renji and Ikkaku, in one of the smartest moves they had ever performed in their lives, decided the brave the falling rubble rather than stay under the "safety" of Hitsugaya's shield, and in several seconds had disappeared from sight.

"Ooops I- " hic "- forgot it was so big, Taichou" she giggled.

Hitsugaya glowered at her but Matsumoto was paying him no mind, her attention having been captured by the falling bits of white plaster from what had just minutes ago been the roof of the 10th division. She giggled again.

"Taichou, its snowing" she exclaimed happily

A vein throbbed dangerously in Hitsugaya's temple. "No, Matsumoto, its not, but it will be. Very soon. Right. _Over. Your. Head_"

Even in her inebriated state, Matsumoto was smart enough to know that she needed to leave their "office" (it really couldn't be described as such anymore) as soon as possible. Unfortunately _because _of her inebriated state, Matsumoto was _not_ smart enough to realise that one ought not to be using shunpo when drunk. Her first step took her not out the door, or even one of the large gaping holes that now littered the walls, but directly into a supporting pillar. 

Hitsugaya watched with a sigh as his Vice-Captain dropped concussed and unconscious to the floor. _This_ was the woman Yamamoto wanted to become a Captain?


End file.
